15.4.09

I want to End Up with You… But When?

Ini adalah kata-kata yang ingin sekali kuungkapkan tetapi tertahan, tercekat di pangkal tenggorokanku. Tak tega rasanya kalo sampai kalimat ini melukai hatinya. Sempet juga tadi pas blogwalking dan terdampar disini.

Aku tertegun….

Aku melihat kata-kata tegas yang sangat mandiri di dalamnya, tapi… kayanya aku gak bisa jadi kaya dia. Aku gak bisa, atau belum bisa… gag tau deh… untuk menulis statement kaya gitu untuk saat-saat ini. Karena…. I think, right now I found someone that truly be able to perfecting me (wadoooh bener kaga ya grammar-nya?) xixixixi...

Dia sudah menunjukkan dan membuktikan kehadiran dia sebagai temanku.

Tak jarang pula memelukku dengan kata-kata hangatnya yang menjadikannya sebagai ayahku.

Atau di lain kesempatan melindungiku dari serbuan angin jahat layaknya kakakku.

Pernah juga dengan tak ada rasa sungkan memperlihatkan sikap manjanya sama seperti adikku.

Dan selalu… selalu kuingat dia sebagai kekasihku.



Perlu kau ketahui –dan pastinya sudah kau ketahui- Aay, bahwa kebersamaan bersamamu membuatku tumbuh, membuatku tegar, membuatku merasakan asam-manis-getir-pahit kehidupan, membuatku mengenal lebih jauh akan arti kedewasaan, bahkan membuatku mengerti arti pentingnya bersama keluarga.

Untuk itu, terima kasih ya Aay… Terima kasih dan rasa syukur yang selalu kupanjatkan dengan terpatrinya hamdalah di hatiku.

Yes! I want to end up with you for now until the rest of my life (this was my pray ya Allah). Aku jadi keinget salah satu hadis Rasulullah yang kira-kira bunyinya, “Belilah kepahitan dunia untuk membeli kenikmatan akhirat…”.

Untuk itu aku ingin membagi kepahitan dunia ini (loohh??) hanya denganmu, keluargaku dan keluargamu, untuk mereguk kenikmatan absolute di akhirat.

Pertanyaannya kemudian, apakah doa dan permintaanku ini akan dikabulkan Allah atau tidak? Hanya waktu yang bisa menjawabnya.




Postingannya kaya gini nih :

Is that enough?

What would you say if someone said to you.."I'd like to end up with you..."
and you said "why would you like to be end up with me?"
"Because it's so comfortable being with you..I can be what I am when I'm with you and I don't want to lose you"
Do you think that's enough for wanting to be ended up with someone for the rest of your life?

It's not for me!

"Not wanting to lose you" is just a sign of possessiveness. Somehow, somewhat, when you love one person, you feel like possessing that person. But human can't be possessed unlike pets even when you have tied the knot, it doesn't mean you're owning your spouse.In my opinion, it doesn't work that way. It is about entwining of two lives, but the tied knot doesn't represent our possession towards each other. The knot does act as a boundary not supposed to be crossed when you're in it. But human has always been its own individual, with its own thoughts and feelings. Even if you were told that being not to have an extra-marital affair, the decision will still lay upon him/her. And me as an independent being, I refuse to be owned by someone else, even if that person is so-called to be my soulmate. Coz it's not the marriage concept I'd like to have..Well, that's probably the reason I wouldn't get hitched anytime sooner :p

I think it takes more than that to be wanting spending the rest of your life with one person. I don't settle with "I can live with you", as many people can live with me! I might not be the nicest person to be surrounded, but I'm also not such obnoxious snobbish self-centred psychopath! I do have closed friends who sincerely bear with my bluntness and bad temper, meaning I'm pretty much bearable to live with, isn't it?

Some of my exes remarked me as a demanding girlfriend. But a dearest ex wrote me this one and let me tell you he's not a corny kind of BF, he barely called me pretty and declared his feeling.

"It's true what my roommate said about you. You're an angel without wings, despite your bad temper and demanding attitudes, but I don't know what I'm gonna do without you"

Is it demanding to be wanting an unconditional & can't live without love?

I demand it coz I found one though it's not meant to be end up with a tied knot

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